Kiddos

I have a ridiculously soft spot in my heart for kids.

For a long time I wanted to be an elementary school teacher so that kids could be part of my life every day. As I got older though, I didn’t feel that’s where God was calling me, but that doesn’t mean I won’t make them a big part of my life. First of all, I can’t wait to have them. I’m in no hurry, there’s plenty I want to do before I have my own, but honestly I can’t wait. There’s a few of them in my life right now that I am just crazy about.

First there’s my church kids, especially Owen. That boy has a smile that can light up a room. I can’t wait to watch him grow older and hopefully be part of his growing experience in the church.

Max and Owen in the nursery at church

The newest edition is Noah. This is my little second cousin, and he is precious. Just over a month old and I’m already crazy about him. I recently got to hold him for the first time and feed him, and getting so much joy out of doing that makes me unable to imagine how that will be with my own kids.

Holding Noah for the first time

 

:)

And last, but definitely not least, Cade. This is Noah’s older brother, and I’ve helped and watched Cade grow for 3 whole years now. He is my best buddy. I tear up just thinking about him, because he means the world to me. Cade and Noah live in Ohio, so I only get to see them every few months. This makes time with them even more precious, and I take advantage of every moment. Cade is the one who makes me want to have kids. Spending time with him and taking care of him brings out a joy in me that only he can. All these little guys are giving me something to look forward to, and providing me with tons of practice!

At Cade's 3rd birthday party

Fun in the pillows

 

My best buddy

But it’s not just about the kids, it’s about the family. The only joy I look forward to more than having a kid is sharing that experience with someone else. I love my life now. I love being in my early 20’s and living a fast-paced life, but I feel God’s plan unfolding and seeing where He is working in my life right now to prepare me for the future. So far He has provided me with so much more than I deserve, and I know He will continue to be faithful. I will just continue to put my trust in Him everyday, and glorify Him through every thought, action, and decision.

Jealousy: A Passion of the Heart

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about jealousy.

For a few reasons. First of all, it’s an emotion that I have struggled with in the past. I went through one rocky relationship where there was no trust, and I was constantly being pushed into jealousy and suspicion. I didn’t want to be, but I was, and I ended up being right on the money. That’s tough to deal with when you push thoughts out of your mind and think you’re overreacting to things, and over and over again convince yourself that you are wrong, just to find out that you were right all along. Now it’s frustrating to keep being reminded of that doubt when I am finally in a healthy, trusting, God-centered relationship. It has nothing to do with Kyle, because he is perfect. Honestly, I don’t know how I got so blessed with him. Every day he does something else that makes me love him even more than I already do. I just struggle with it sometimes because my heart remembers that pain, and never wants to experience that amount of hurt again.

So I started really thinking about what jealousy is as an emotion. I examined where it originates from, why we experince it, and what we can do to get past it. At first, I thought about it in an emotional sense. The reason someone becomes jealous is because they feel a threat is existent to a valued relationship. Many times this is because of a lack of self-esteem, which can cause a person to fabricate thoughts and ideas. But this is not what I am feeling. I need a way to get past those old, fruitless emotions and not let them affect the present. So instead, I decided to think about a way refocus my jealousy and make it productive.

This started me thinking about the spiritual definition of jealousy. At first it seems kind of contradictory, because the Bible says that God is love, that love is not jealous, but it describes God as a jealous God. So I decided to do some research. The word “jealousy” comes from the Hebrew word qin’ah and the Greek word zelos. Both of these words mean “warmth” or “heat”. According to the International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, the Hebrew word for jealousy carries with it the idea of “redness of the face that accompanies strong emotion” – whether right or wrong. Jealousy is simply a passion, whether it is good or bad. In the Bible, similar words are used to describe love for the Church,  love for God, and a desire for spiritual gifts.

But here’s the best part. The Bible also uses that same word to describe love.

Solomon 8:6 says this,

“Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.”

Love is encouraged to be jealous for what it deeply cares for. It is healthy to be protective, but only in a way that God would be jealous for His church. God gives us that desire so that we may fight for what we care about, and keep our love strong. 1 Corinthians 13:4 is one of my favorite verses because Paul describes all the attributes of the beautiful and passionate emotion of love. Love does not envy, but it is certainly jealous.

I no longer want to have the worldly, negative definition of jealousy, but I want zelos. I want to love like God loves His Church, and have no room in my heart for anything less…

Chaos update….

It’s getting closer.

I worked all afternoon cleaning out drawers, shelves, going through papers, folding and hanging up clothes, and doing a little decorating. I made a quick trip to Walmart in there to print off some pictures and buy a few frames. :]

You’d think with how small it is it wouldn’t be so much work… Not sure when I’ll have time to finish. Hopefully sometime in the next few days while I’m on a roll.

But my clean, now-functional bed is calling my name. It looks very inviting.

Plus 5 hours of sleep tonight and then an 18-hour day of class, work, meeting, and work tomorrow means I should probably stop blogging and go to bed.

Oh, and I also took a break to get myself a Twitter account after some peer-pressure. :] Follow me @amhatcher. Tomorrow is my first full day of Tweets!

Goodnight.

CHAOS!

So I know none of you asked for this, but here it is……

I just cannot seem to get it together. My major problem is that I never have large amounts of free time. The day is filled with class, work, errands, church, studying, Kyle, and anything else that might come up. Along with no time I have no money. It’s actually a big stress for me right now. I am stretching to the max to pay for school, rent, utilities, books, groceries, and small issues like my car deciding to rebel and break. Again. Your prayers for my sanity would be much appreciated.

Anyway, I do find all of it somewhat humorous. My room here is a wreck. My room at my parent’s house is almost as bad. I went grocery shopping and caught up on emails from 11pm last night until 2am this morning. I’m finding it extremely frustrating coming home to a room I can’t walk through with my shopping items still in their bags on the floor. I have few clean clothes. I did buy laundry detergent last night! Too bad I don’t have time to do my laundry. I am booked now until 2pm on Saturday, and I’m hoping that Saturday and Sunday can be major catch-up days for me. My genius plan right now is to skip class tomorrow and get enough done to at least make it until Saturday.

I am lacking in motivation and having a hard time getting back into a schedule. I think I just remember how completely stressed out I got last semester, and I’m not ready to go back to that again. Honestly, I’m just ready to be done with school and the schedule fluctuations. I’d love to have a job that would actually allow me to pay my bills and give me the satisfaction of going to work every day. I’m completely over homework and working night shifts. I would much rather have the stress of a job, a house, and more importantly a family.

Anyway, these are just some of the things on my mind recently. I’m frustrated because I feel like there’s so much more I’d rather be doing right now. I want to enjoy the next 2 years of my life, but I’m also ready for them to be behind me so that I can continue moving forward…

Oh, and for your viewing pleasure, just so you know I’m not kidding, I took a few pictures of my room…. Hopefully I’ll have a follow-up post to this one with much-improved and more organized-looking pictures of my room.

yeah....

 

where do I sleep??

It would be nice to get away for awhile….

A birthday to remember…

Tonight was a perfect evening.

My birthday was yesterday, the big 2-1. It was nice to go out with my friends and my family, but the one evening I was most looking forward to was celebrating with Kyle. Friday evening was all his, but I was given no clues as to our agenda except some guidelines for dress.

It’s late, but I definitely want to tell you all about this right now for two reasons. First of all since I’ve sucked at blogging the last few weeks, and secondly because everything is still fresh on my mind, and my heartbeat still hasn’t slowed down since I started getting ready at 5 o’clock this evening…

Since my car broke down last night (yes, happy birthday to me) Kyle came to pick me up at my house. His hinting had suggested that we were staying in for dinner at his house. This was perfectly fine by me, but I should know by now that when he hints at one thing, he definitely means another…..

Well we passed the turn to his neighborhood and kept driving until we got to the interstate. My mind started racing trying to figure out various places where we were headed, but I know better than to assume anything with him. When we pulled into Houlihan’s, my heart stopped. This was the restaurant where Kyle and I had our first, real date 3 months, 27 days ago. It was a nice way to remember that evening and also to continue making new memories with each other. We stood for about 20 mintues waiting on our table, and ‘unfortunately’ the waiting area was packed so we had to stand awfully close together…  Dinner was wonderful. To sit across from the man I love holding my hand and talking about important parts of our lives is the only thing I wanted and needed for my birthday. After eating all that amazing food we decided to walk around the shopping area for a bit before we headed home. We walked around Borders (another thing we did on our first date) and talked and laughed about anything and everything. Then we looked around at Banana Republic and gawked over clothes that are WAY out of our price range. Once again, it was around -7 degrees outside so we continued to stay close in each other’s arms. When we got back, Kyle gave me hands down the greatest and sweetest birthday card I have ever received (with some help from JENN!) and we sat and watched a movie and relaxed.

Kyle has put so much thought and love into the last few days especially for my birthday, but honestly every moment since that first date he has been taking care of my heart. Did I mention that yesterday he sent me 21 RED ROSES to my work?! It was such a loving gesture that was not necessary, but totally and completely made my day. Sharing my birthday and the holidays with Kyle has really given me a good chance to closely inspect and analyze our relationship. It’s been enjoyable to look back at the past few months and really see how our love has grown and matured. I can’t help but take all of that and see amazing prospects for our future. Kyle is the person that has become my best friend, my favorite person to share my thoughts and time with, and the one person I know I will be able to count on forever. I know that God has a plan for us, and I hope that it means me never having to be without Kyle.

Thank you babe for treating me to an incredible birthday that I will never forget. I love you.

Now here are a few photos for your viewing pleasure:

My amazing roses

 

Side view. Count 'em! There's 21

 

Myself and the love of my life.

Am I the luckiest or what?

The Season of Love

Christmas is such an amazing time of year for me.

It always has been, between the time I get to relax with my family, giving gifts to the people I love, and celebrating the birth of Christ, there’s not much that can top it. But this year Christmas was especially wonderful. It started out with a trip to Ohio to see my family and spend time with my awesome cousin, Cade. I have never found so much joy in one child, he absolutely lights up my life. What an encouraging and fun way to be reminded of the power of love. I spent 4 days with him and I have missed him so much since I’ve been home. He is truly a blessing.

Christmas Eve I spent with my family and Kyle eating dinner, going to church, and passing out a few presents. My sisters and I stayed up late wrapping and re-living our childhood of Christmas Eve fun just being together as sisters. Christmas Day brought on many new reasons to be glad for the day. Morning traditions with my family started it off just right. Then I got to spend the whole afternoon with Kyle and his family. It was wonderful spending Christmas with him. To share such a special day with him meant the world to me. He means the world to me…

When I finally got home to spend time with my other cousins, we had a blast. We set up the Wii, then headed out to the movies. Taking 5 kids to the movies can be somewhat challenging, but we had fun. I enjoyed packing them all up, buying tickets, popcorn and drinks, getting refills every 20 minutes and making sure everyone had whatever they needed. Times like that make me excited to have the blessing of my own kids someday.

Today may have been one of the greatest Christmases I have ever had. I can’t really even explain it except that I have not stopped smiling all day. There are just certain moments from today I will never forget. God has given me so much to be thankful for.

I hope that I have many more like today in the future…

Cade and me

 

Opening presents with Kyle

 

Having fun with my sisters

The Purest Kind of Joy

…just a few words that help me get through the busy, stressful times.

First of all, I haven’t had a new post in 2 weeks. That’s the longest I’ve gone since I started blogging! Christmas break is coming soon, it will be a good time to catch you all up on life.

College life is keeping me busy every moment of every day. I’ve had speeches, presentations, projects, papers, and every other type of assignment you can think of. Throw in 25-30 hours of work each week, church, and too-short segments of time with Kyle and I stay pretty booked. A three-week break of no class is definitely needed here SOON. I’m ready to spend time with my sisters, parents, cousins, and definitely Kyle. Hopefully I can get in lots of work and save some money over break as well! And maybe do a little shopping with my sister and our Christmas money…

The last month or so has been a pretty stressful one, but there’s been little highlights throughout that have kept me motivated. Movie nights, Thursday evenings with the Dialogue family and The Office, lunch dates with friends, Colts and BSU football games, and just sitting around watching the guys get the greatest joy from killing each other in Halo. Without these small things I don’t think I would make it! But as frustrating as things get sometimes, life seems to get better with every passing day… God has really blessed me in some amazing ways.

What are the little things that bring you joy?

More to come soon!

Kazakhstan: Rewind

God has a great way of reminding you of things when you need it most.

I had one of these great reminders this past week.

In the summer of 2006, I went on a 2-week humanitarian aid trip to Kazakhstan. We traveled the big cities of Taraz, Almaty, and Shymkent. This trip definitely changed my life.

The latest assignment in my speech class was to give an informative speech about anything. I really wanted to share with my class about Kazakhstan. In order to prepare for my speech, I started by reading my old Myspace post that I wrote shortly after I returned.

Wow. God is amazing. I just returned home tonight from a 2 week trip to Kazakhstan. To be a believer in Kazakhstan is a huge committment, and lots of times it splits families and even endangers lives. We have it so easy here in America…

This was one amazing trip. So amazing in fact that it rocked my world. We traveled half-way across the country just to bless people. We weren’t on a trip to save the world, but instead to show them God’s love by blessing them in ways beyond their wildest dreams. I spent 4 days working at an orphanage in which one woman took on 4 children who were all cast out by their families because they had disabilities, as small as they may be. This woman had hardly any money, and barely a place to live, but she knew that God would provide. We completely fixed up her home and showered her with love and gifts from us. Seeing the tears in their eyes was enough to break my heart.

We also traveled Kazakhstan and saw some of the other villages. It’s an amazing and a once in a lifetime chance to experience another culture first-hand. These people live with so little everyday, yet they make the most of everything they have. Nothing is wasted; everything treated as a precious gift. We could learn a lesson from the people of Kazakhstan.

This trip taught me a lot about my life. From speeding through the busy street with real laws to speak of to having to throw away my toilet paper in the trash can since it isn’t to be flushed, we were given quite the experience. I ate the rare delicacy of a sheep’s head, and in respect shoes are always taken off before entering a Kazakh home. I spent two evenings with a Russian youth group having only 2 translators and the love of God to link us. I learned that a smile goes a long way and it works in every language! I climbed the mountains in Kazakhstan and shopped at the local bazzars. It’s amazing to see the things that we hold in high regard in comparison to the people in Kazakhstan. I went 2 weeks without the internet, my cell phone, Starbucks, McDonalds, and air conditioning. Those things all seem so common to everyday life, and I had no idea how much I depended on them until they weren’t there. It’s amazing to learn where the line between need and want is really drawn. Now don’t get me wrong, I haven’t gone psycho and decided to give all of that up, but I have learned to appreciate it so much more. We have so much, and we shouldn’t feel guilty, but we need not take advantage of it, but rather use it to bless other people; bless the world. Giving a gift of an electric oven, something that no one in America lives without, changed a woman’s life on the other side of the world. Thank God for everything He has blessed you with, and ask Him how you can use it to bless other people.

The best part about this whole experience is that I’m still the same person! I can’t wait to go out with my friends and go to the movies and enjoy all of the wonderful things that America offers. I’ve never been so excited to come home to Muncie in my life! I can’t wait to see all of my friends, because I missed them so much. It was hard being away from my family for 2 weeks as well. We have so much, even if it seems like we don’t sometimes. Just always keep in mind that we live for a purpose, and we have so many resources that to not live for that purpose would be a waste. God works in amazing ways, and He showed me all of the blessings that I have in my life!!! I love my friends, I love my family, and I love all of the opportuinites that are just waiting for me to take them. I can’t wait to see where I go next………………….

It was great going back and reading this post. It was such a refreshing reminder of how I felt when I got back, and the feelings that the trip inspired. Then I went back and read the articles from the paper written about our trip. Hopefully I can scan them and get them up here too. That’ll come later. Then I went back and looked through all the picures from the trip. They brought back some amazing memories, and I wanted to share some of them with you.

the 8-hour, hot, sweaty bus ride we took when we first arrived, after 20 hours of airplane time....

 

 

 

 

our amazing team

teaching our Kazakh translator and a Kazakh student how to play Uno. Talk about a language barrier! We learned the colors in Kazakh, and he learned them in English. It was really cool.

the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten. And it was my first Kazakh meal.

Doing some sight-seeing.

“]

Eric and I sang Karaoke when we went to a big street party with the Russian youth group. We pretty much became famous. :

This was the crowd that gathered around us

The amazing family whose house we fixed up.

When she first saw her new kitchen

Pure joy and gratitude. Their faces made up for every pain and complaint and drop of sweat put into those tough 4 days of work.

Lucas and our translator, Aigul.

The longest climb ever. I can

But it was worth the view when we got to the top.

The view back down. At the bottom you can see the practice center for the Olympic athletes.

Kazakhstan spelled in Kazakh.

A really cool coffee house we visited on one of our last days. Love coffee, love people. Sounds kind of like Dialogue

 

A few other highlights were going to a Kazakh home and having authentic meals with the families, having a formal meal with the delicasy of sheep’s head, and a trip to a Kazakh amusement park.

This was definitely an incredible experience that I can’t even begin to descibe with words. I would love to go on another trip again, it is so amazing serving other people, especially on the other side of the world. And the coolest part was I was part of the first youth delegation sent to Kazakhstan. It was so inspiring to work with other youth who love God and put Him first.

1Timothy 4:12 says:

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.”

And that is exactly what we did.

simply adorable.

I like puppies.

This is pretty much the cutest thing I have ever seen. Today my homie (because we live in the same house, not because i regularly use this term in everyday conversation, haha.) Lindsie showed me this and I have become oddly obsessed. It’s simply a streaming video following the every move of the 6 most adorable puppies in the world. I’ve kept it tabbed all day, and every once in awhile i just pop over and watch them. They really are fascinating. Sometimes they sleep, sometimes they get crazy energy and jump over each other. But let me tell you, if you’re having a bad day, watch these puppies for 2 minutes and they’ll turn it right around :]

check them out! 

Can you tell I want a puppy?

The First Snow!

It’s not much, but the season for snow is here :]

A little snow has been spitting out a few days this week, but last night/this morning the first consistent fall of snow began. It’s not really sticking, but it will soon enough. The forecast calls for snow all week! It’s funny, because during the Christmas season, snow is so exciting and romantic. The biggest hope is that we will have a white Christmas. The first month after Christmas though, snow is not as fun anymore. So I’m excited to enjoy the next few months while I can!

Now I know y’all down south don’t get much of this winter magic, so I will try to post regular pictures so you can live vicariously through our snow :]

Here’s a little taste of the snow….

…when it starts to stick, I’ll take lots more!